Please fix your ankles!

So… You probably noticed a lot of women in Second Life like to wear high heels a lot of the time. Unlike real life there is no such thing as impractical footwear. Go for it – wear your stilettos on the beach! Run in them! All day! Zero blisters. Yay!

And for the uninitiated: most of us wear a mesh body right? Your underlying (hidden) system avatar has no idea you are wearing highs. It thinks your feet are flat. So when some animations kick in (we are talking furniture poses typically) and that animation tells your avatar to point her feet, the hidden system flat feet do just that but your mesh body feet, which are already at their limit in your 6″ heels, bend way past that point.

So this is the result:

Screenshot 2019-01-17 09.08.14.png

Source: anon (Flickr)

OK so I gather that with some pretty niche extreme high heel training in RL (really not recommended) it is possible to push the limits of your ankle a bit but nothing like that!

Am I the only one for whom this makes them feel a bit queasy? It looks to me like someone’s come along and smashed your ankles with a sledgehammer.

Kathy Bates in Misery

Now each to their own and all that… Maybe hobbled ankles are your thing. But last time I checked heels are meant to look sexy, so this just kills it for me. Makes me feel a bit…


What’s weird is:

  • It’s super easy to fix.
  • Half of people either don’t notice or don’t seem to care.

Maybe I’m just fussy about details (I am) but a big part playing with avatars is to create an immersive simulation. Stop me if I’m wrong. The avatar is *all* about the visual. So why leave a glaringly obvious deformity?

OK… if you just forget for 5 minutes IW no big deal. I’ve done a lot worse. But to actually take photos and post them on Flickr like that. Like… can’t you see?

I mentioned this to a friend the other day. She was completely oblivious to the problem or (once I’d pointed it out) how to solve it.

If you really don’t know then read on.

See? That wasn’t so hard now was it?




Six Months Old Today

I joined Second Life on 15 July 2018. Well, OK, yes, I had a previous life in 2016 but that is ancient history. I didn’t progress far in that life but I did learn a lot and that meant when I decided to come back I was able to get up to speed quite quickly.

These last six months have been completely different and I would say a life changing experience. I think I have learned enough to be out of NOOB territory, but I am not the one to be the judge of that. And having said that, because most of my Second Life friends are SL veterans it feels like every other day I still make some embarrassing faux pas due to misunderstanding something. *rolls eyes*

NOOB avatar party at Paradise Disc O Theque

Second Life is full of arbitrary curiosities and things you just have to know, which is half the charm of it I suppose but can also be confusing! There is always lots more to learn. I have a terrible memory for names of things, which doesn’t help.

For example clothes! I wish there was a visual wardrobe for individual items, or a thumbnail preview when you hover over things in the inventory. ‘What was that jacket called again?’ I need to get my head around using saved outfits I think, and saving a picture of each one. A mammoth task for that quiet day alone in SL which never seems to come along.

Avatar wise… the next thing for me that I want to do is find a mesh head that I am comfortable with. I am pretty happy with how I designed my avatar and my current head. And the skin and eyebrows I found. And people compliment me on my appearance and tell me not to change it. But I don’t like the facial expressions or sometimes lack of expressions that you get with the standard avatar head. In most pictures of me I have exactly the same expression. But I am a bit scared about looking so different with a mesh head it changes how I come across.

getting ready to go out

I am looking into the Catwa Catya head. I have had a demo in my inventory for a few weeks but have not had time to try it out because of other priorities. My skin (from Stix) that I have, and which I love, has an applier for Catwa so my understanding is that this will make it match my body perfectly. But I am still confused a bit about faces… Whether the face is set by the skin or just by the shape sliders or both, or by some other add-on else as well, and so on…  I have had it explained to me but didn’t really understand fully. I just need to try it out and see what happens!


People! When I joined in July, after I had spent a few days making my avatar, I looked up an old friend from my old life and hung out with her at a place she runs and met a couple of new friends. It wasn’t long after that I followed one of those new friends down a teleport rabbit hole one night and found myself at god-knows-where-but-some-adult-stuff-seems-to-be-going-on-and-oooh-ok-then… A sim called Chi Tau City.

When you are new and if, like me, you are curious to try new things there is the novelty of adult stuff in SL. I had not really explored it freely in my old Second Life and did, I admit, enjoy a few weeks hanging out at this adult sim and trying various things sometimes with complete strangers.

On the roof terrace with Boda

As in real life I love sex but I don’t like to talk about it too publicly. Maybe partly that is being British and maybe I should get over it. Suffice to say I am not prudish at all in private, but generally speaking I prefer to keep what goes on in the bedroom to myself. I like to try and maintain a bit of self respect in public.

Before long I got a little bored of what was sometimes basically interactive porn at this adult sim. To be fair many there do role play well and made it feel more real than just empty animations but still… Also there were a couple of occasions when I looked back at the previous night and felt a bit ashamed. I was playing this slutty version of me because I guess it is ultimately safe in SL so what the hell right? but as I got more into my life I just felt uncomfortable opening my legs so willingly. The other thing is there was no need for flirting or need for “the chase” there. Sex was the default. New guests are welcomed with a blowjob. And so for me it was a bit devalued and didn’t turn me on as much as it used to.

I still go back from time to time though usually clothed, just to hang out and chat or go to the club there.

DJ Kendra

The main reason I mention Chi Tau is I did met some lovely and wonderful people there, many of whom remain friends to this day. Two of them, Alice and Kendra were neighbours for a while when I first owned my own place. Kendra sold me my very first land parcel – 1024SQM for only $100L (I later sold it for $8,000L but she refused to let me share the profit with her, bless her).

We have since moved away from each other due to me buying a better parcel by the sea and them also moving, but those were the first people I developed a real friendship with. Alice and I sit and chat for hours sometimes. Timing is tricky because she is in Australia but we try to find some time at least once every week or so.

Chatting round at Alice’s

Also I don’t want to take anything away from the people who run Chi Tau… It is pretty big and a lot of work goes into making it run, with events every day and games and scoring systems and so on. For a lot of people it’s a great place, just depends what you want in life. For me it was a stepping stone that took me from newbie with no friends to having a social circle, and for that I am thankful 🙂


Lena. We shared some intimate secrets. We fell in love and were very close. I can’t really put succinctly what went wrong. Suffice to say she did nothing wrong, and it is a private matter. I wanted to mention her because she was a big part of my first six months in SL and I am very grateful for the magical times we spent together. I hope she is happy and well, whatever she is doing.

I resolved after separating from Lena to have a bit of a break from all of that heavy emotional stuff and get back to having fun, and also getting creative such as with the work I did on designing my new home.

retro games

Around this time I had met Sheree on Twitter and then met her in-world when I visited to her cafe, which at the time was set up for Halloween. Sheree has been a close friend ever since and has taken me on lots of adventures including sailing, speedboating, flying in a helicopter, flying in a plane and invading an aircraft carrier.

Puss-Air buzzing the Coast Guard

Sheree is also a vampire and was the first to bite me, inducting me into the world of Bloodlines which is a vampire RP game that runs in Second Life. We don’t take it super seriously but it is a lot of fun and a good excuse to bite people (or in my case be bitten). And also within Bloodlines there are clans, and through our clan Angels of Cyrus I have met even more new friends and been to some great parties too 🙂

Sheree introduced me to her partner Abby, who you can see in the next picture about to sink her fangs into my neck! That turned out to be quite a day…

Feeding my darling vampires

It’s hard to believe that was only six weeks ago. Maybe it was the bite, but something infected me that day and I started seeing Abby quite a lot, both with Sheree but also sometimes just the two of us hanging out and going shopping or exploring.

To be honest… and I had to keep this to myself for weeks… trying to play it cool (which I later learned I did a pretty bad job of lol)… I didn’t really care so much where I went or what I was doing so long as it was with Abby.

Uh-oh… yes here we go with all that emotional stuff again.

Abby came to visit

What was lovely was all of the time I spent with Abby was out in the open. It’s lovely to meet a couple so mature and open about things that they can comfortably welcome a new person like me into their world. Especially given how people live in different time zones, or have different hours or days when they can access Second Life, open relationships can make a lot of sense for people who have the right attitude.

my butt photobombing an otherwise perfect shot

And so it was… just six days ago that I had a chat with Sheree and she told me that Abby and I had her blessing if we wanted to make it official, which of course we did because… well, I don’t need to spell it out. ❤️❤️

And furthermore I was invited me to take the family name Honeyflower (which I happen to think sounds just perfect after Olivia) and also come and share their lovely home. Thank you so much!

On the deck at Vinyard Island West

So that is how, exactly six months into my life, I come to be writing this sat out on the deck by the water’s edge in one of the most exclusive and beautiful spots in all of Second Life and feeling like I’ve won the romantic lottery too.

It has been a whirlwind six months and I just want to say how grateful I am to all the people mentioned above. But especially to Sheree for being generous, lovely and selfless, and to Abby for putting up with the emotional soap opera in my head, and being there for me in so many ways. I love you.

Olivia over and out. X

Our Digital Selves: My Avatar is me (film)

I’m away for a few days for a family event, with no access to Second Life here, but the upshot is that my parents love spending time with my little one, so I got a bit of time to myself to read and to watch some things I bookmarked a while ago.

I am late to the game here, this film came out last summer and most people who read my blog have probably seen it already. But every share helps and maybe one new person will discover it and that will be worth it because it deserves some love.

A touching documentary about how some ability-diverse people explore their identities and express themselves in Second Life.

Happy 2019

As the sun sets on 2018 I want to say happy new year from me! 2018 had its ups and downs but let’s not forget that the news only tell us the bad things that happen. Every day people do wonderful things. Let’s look for the good in each other. Sometimes in the little things, the details, it is out there.

In Second Life I have met some amazing people who have changed my life (both my lives) forever, and – in its various definitions – I love you all. Thank you for all you have done for me. I wish you all the best for 2019. Let’s be positive – we can do this! X

Living Two Lives

It’s 2:30am on 30 December. I am lying awake with insomnia and I keep writing tweets then not tweeting them.

Writing them… because it’s therapeutic I guess. I’m feeling a bit frustrated right now and it helps to write things down.

And not tweeting them… because I don’t want to bore my Twitter friends with negative sounding tweets. I wanted my account to be mostly about Second Life, but my problem is I’m anxious because real life stuff is keeping me away from SL.

So I’m writing this in the notes app on my phone and maybe I’ll post it to my blog later. Not because I want sympathy but because, well it feels good to share and maybe there are other people in the same boat or who have been here before.

I don’t want to go into too much detail because it’s not relevant but I had a pretty good day for the most part but let’s just say there is some tension at home which turns to bickering or occasionally full blown arguing. And at the centre of our world is our little boy who is six and will always come first.

Second Life is my escape place from all this, a bit of a guilty pleasure. Holidays are actually a bit of a nightmare for me in this regard. Both my son and husband are at home all day which I should be happy about (and am mostly) but there is no me-time, which I get when they’re at school and work.

Writing this now I sound like a privileged so and so. But the fact is that rightly or wrongly I love my escapism and the life I am carving out in SL. It fulfils some things that RL is not giving me.

I work but during the week if I get my work done early some days I can buy myself maybe 1-2 hours to spend in SL before I have to get my boy from his after school club. And my partner usually goes to bed early due to his early starts, so most evenings I can spend an hour online after he goes to bed. Or at least one of the two. It is a juggling act but I find some time most days.

But not in the holidays. I grabbed 10 minutes this morning and literally only 5 minutes this evening just before being asked if I was coming to bed. I logged out and came to bed to avoid another argument.

I often look at my Second Life account page on my phone to see who is online. I don’t know why I do this when I know I can’t come on but I do. I want to melt away and go have fun with my friends in the fantasy world that is SL. At one point it showed 24 of my friends were on. Usually outside of holiday times there are more typically about 6 friends on (I have 56 in total). So there’s this frustrating feeling of wondering what I am missing out on. Meeting people, exploring places. Keeping friendships alive by visiting them and chatting. Strengthening bonds. Maybe some intimacy, or dancing at some cool parties, all denied.

And a day in SL feels like a long time. A lot can happen in a week. I hate being away too long.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just not set up for me to have a meaningful Second Life too. And that me trying to do both is putting a strain on both that’s just not worth it. I would say half of the time SL gives me joy and half of the time I’m anxious because I’m missing out.

How do other people who can only spend about 3-4 hours a week in Second Life cope? Do you have friends there? Do you ever SEE them?

Do I need to win the lottery or retire to make this work? How do other people make it work for them?

I suppose it follows that people who can spend huge uninterrupted chunks of time in Second Life must have less going on in their real lives, so perhaps I should be careful what I wish for. The grass is, after all, always greener on the other side.

Happy Xmas from Olivia

Xmas 2018

Hi. I just wanted to write a little note to say Happy Christmas to all my Second Life friends, Twitter friends and anyone else who reads my blog for whatever reason it is that compels you 🙂

Whatever you are doing… whether it is with family, or friends or alone, or even if you are doing nothing I hope you have a lovely day.

And to all my Second Life friends: thank you for being there, and for all the fun and craziness and love and chats and cuddles we have had together. There would literally be no point if it wasn’t for you. I’m only six months old but it feels like years. In a good way!

Xmas 2018

As you no doubt noticed this blog post includes some pictures of me wearing a cute reindeer outfit complete with a pair of antlers. This is my last minute, waaaay overdue attempt at taking some Xmas piccies! I grabbed the outfit from Pink Pearl Designs (thanks Abby) on the Marketplace and headed over to the Second Pride Winter Event sim, which is very pretty and snow-covered.

Have fun, don’t eat too many mince pies, and I’ll see you soon.

Special mentions: Abby, Alice, Boda, Candy, Chris, Ivana, Kendra, Rylan, Sheree, Silver, Sky ❤